Sunday, January 27, 2013

Different, Not Less

"You just don't know what a blessing that boy is to so many people--a pure blessing,"  Mrs. Browning gushed as she spoke of my son, her former student.  Mrs. Browning is an aide for a class for children with exceptional needs in Mississippi where we used to live.  She took care of my D-man, day in and day out, for two years and showered him with love.  

She took him to ROTC each day where he clapped in answer to roll call and the other night she let me know that they still called out D's name and the entire unit clapped when his name is called.  Chief Thorman said that they keep him on roll to honor the D-man. 

A classmate who is also a cadet in the ROTC program said when he saw D's picture on Chief's desk:  "I miss D.  Hi D. D is a child of God."

 Now we are in a new state and at a new school.  How can I tell them about my child whose test scores are so low that expectations of him reading or speaking are outlandish?  How can I say that he is special in a good way if you know him well enough to read his face. . .if you only knew his sounds enough to understand his pidgin? 

I am trying to psych myself up for the IEP meeting so that I will be prepared to do just that.  To help them understand D so that they can educate him (or he can educate them, whatever the case may be).  I know he educates me daily--testing the care of my speech when speaking of someone in that person's presence, testing my patience when I don't understand his refusal to sit on the toilet, testing my sensitivity when I have to remind myself that often he disobeys because he can't understand, testing my compassion when I attempt a conversation and I answer for him instead of waiting for him to tell me in his way.

In addition to what seems a herculean task, I am daunted by my encounter the first school day with the principal.  When we visited a severe-profound class where most of the children faced major challenges, the principal quips,"I can see why this class choice would upset you.  Thinking that your son belonged with these kind of children.  They can't do much, anything really, but you gotta put them SOMEwhere."

The principal of a school exclusively for children with exceptional needs having that kind of attitude toward her students. . .I just don't know what to say.  But I do know this.  If the class where D is now is not the BEST place for him, then I will withdraw him from the school and fight the system for a more appropriate placement.  Yes, I do have to put him somewhere, but I am NOT going to put him just anywhere.